Feuds and Farmers
by Never-Clip-My-Wings-x
Summary: The team end up travelling to a country farm to investigate a crime, quickly followed by chaos when they get stuck there!
1. The Journey

"Why the bloody hell do I have to come?" Ray complained from the back seat of the Quattro, "I 'ate 'orses, I 'ate the countryside, and I 'ate farmers!"

"Ray, we're not asking you to volunteer to muck out a stable, we're bringing you to interview people!" Alex said exasperatedly from the front of the car,

"Will you two stop bickering for one bloody moment? I've 'ad this all the way up the bleedin' M1 ever since we got out of London!" Gene shouted; it had been a long journey, not improved by his DI and DS arguing like a pair of children.

"He started it." Alex pouted as she sank back into the seat,

"What? No, _you_ started it!"

"Can you not just shut up, all of you?" Gene bellowed, and silence filled the car, "Thank you!"

After a minute's silence, Chris asked, "Are we nearly there yet, Guv?"

The Quattro made its way up a long drive, surrounded by fields filled with horses. Silence had finally taken over the car as Shaz, Chris and Alex had all fallen asleep, and Ray had managed to find himself a stash of magazines in his jacket pocket.

The car screeched to a halt on a cobbled yard outside an old farmhouse.

"Christopher, wake up!" shouted Gene, and Chris awoke with a jolt, "Ooh, are we there now, Guv?"

Gene just rolled his eyes, before proceeding to wake up Alex, "Oi, wake up yer dozy mare!"

"Charming, Guv." She yawned as she opened her eyes.

"Right, out!" instructed Gene, "Let's find us a farmer!"

**Hope you enjoyed, I have a couple more parts to come yet if anyone's interested.**

**Please review, even if it's just short (: x**


	2. Farmyard Frolics

Ten minutes later, the farmer hunt had proved unsuccessful.

In the time between getting out of the Quattro and now, a series of events had occurred;

Firstly, Alex had tripped over a stone in her stiletto heels and landed in Gene's arms (something which certainly hadn't gone unnoticed by the team)

Next, Ray had fallen over a tree, turning both the air and himself blue in the process.

And lastly, Chris had been chased by a sheep and fallen in a pond – much to Ray's amusement.

"I'm not sitting next to 'im on the way 'ome, 'e stinks!" complained Ray,

"Oh, shut it, Raymondo." Gene answered, "You either sit next to 'im or you walk back to London, your choice."

"Guv, there's someone over there!" Shaz pointed to a paddock with wooden fencing surrounding it, "Look, she's on a horse!"

"Right, well, if we can't get us a farmer, we can at least get us a rider. Follow me."

Gene walked over the cobbled yard towards the paddock, and rested an arm on the fence.

"Do you work 'ere, love?" he shouted at the girl in the field,

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute, bear with me!" she yelled back,

"Oh, look Guv, they're jumping!" Chris said gormlessly as he watched horse and rider.

Even to someone like Shaz, who had never ridden a horse in her life, the sight was elegant. A tall, slim girl sat on a black horse without a saddle, a helmet or seemingly any kind of safety precautions, jumping over obstacles that must have been five feet tall. After jumping over a large fallen tree (not, like Ray, falling over one), she slowed her horse and trotted towards the fence.

"Hi, you wanted to speak to me?" the girl asked as she stopped the horse beside the fence,

"Yeah, we're police officers, we're investigating the rape and murder of two girls in London, and we've been informed of an attempted assault around here, am I correct?"

"You got ID?" she asked, stroking the long, black neck of her mount as Alex and Gene produced their warrant cards. She glanced at them and smiled, "DI Drake, DCI Hunt. I'm Chloe Flynn."

Surprisingly, Gene reached out and stroked the horse's muzzle. In answer, the horse, pushed its head over the fence and nuzzled his coat,

"She likes you," Chloe observed, "Her name's Ameera."

"I didn't know you liked horses, Guv." Alex smiled,

"I bloody 'ate them," Ray muttered from behind, "But I don't mind their riders."

"I'll turn her out and come and talk to you – I'm sure you don't want to interview me while I'm up here, you can wait in the office – into the farmhouse, second door on your right," Smiled Chloe, nudging the horse forwards and swiftly undoing the gate, "You have a way with horses, DCI Hunt, this one's usually got a right mood on her." She indicated towards her horse, grinning, before trotting off down the pathway, leaving Ray gazing at her long, slim legs.

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><p><strong>I got something like 50 views and only 2 reviews on the last chapter, please write at least a few words so I know I'm not <strong>_**completely**_** wasting my time :P x**


	3. Examinations and the Elements

**Thank you **_**very**_** much for the reviews! Love to everyone who reviewed; SoLifeGoesOn, Fenella Church, Baibe, Sarah7293 and Jazzola.  
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**Hope this chapter is long enough... (: x**

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><p>The team sat in the office of the farmhouse - although it was more of a lounge than a study, with two large sofas and some armchairs. Gene and Alex sat on the one sofa - the size of it meant that they could sit well spaced out, but Alex was practically sitting <em>on<em> Gene - which she claimed was because of the cold. Ray was sat on an armchair, running through his hair with his hands and seemingly trying to check his appearance in the window, while Chris and Shaz were on the other sofa.**  
><strong>

"Sorry about that, now, does anyone want a drink before we start?" Chloe asked from the doorway, "Tea, coffee, something stronger?"

"Tea, milk, six sugars, if you would. Or a Scotch. Or, in fact, both." Gene instantly answered,

"You got any beer?" Ray followed,

"I'm sure I can find some," Chloe replied,

"Coffee, milk, one sugar, please love." Chris responded,

"Tea, milk and one sugar, please." Shaz smiled,

"Tea, milk, no sugar, please, Chloe." Alex said lastly,

"I'll give you a hand." Ray volunteered quickly, following the young blonde out the room,

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><p>"So, anything else you need to ask me?" Chloe said finally,<p>

"Think that's everything, love." Ray made some odd looking attempt at what he clearly believed to be an attractive smile,

"Right, well, don't hesitate to come back if you need anything, I'll be glad to help," she smiled, glancing out of the window, "Looks like it's going to snow, doesn't it?"

"In which case, we'd better get going," Gene announced, "Thank you, Chloe." He got up and walked towards the door, followed by the rest of the team.

As they got outside, the first flakes of snow began to fall from the sky. Over the last hour, the temperature had dropped considerably, and the earlier clear blue sky had clouded over.

"Thank you, Chloe." Alex smiled, "You've been a great help."

"No problem, Ma'am," She smiled, "Have a safe journey." She walked towards the fields and clambered over the gate, with a smile and a wave to the team, before heading off to bring her horses in.

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><p>"Christopher, you either sit on that bin bag or you can hitch-hike your way back to London, because you are <em>not<em> ruining my car seats!"

"But Guv..."

"That's an order!"

"I'm not sittin' next to 'im, 'e reeks of... duck shit!" Ray complained,

"Look, I'll sit in the middle and you two sit either side," Shaz said exasperatedly, "Save you two killing each other." She added in a quiet mutter.

By now the snow had given the ground a thin covering of white, and by the looks of the sky, there was plenty more to come.

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><p>"She was bloody <em>gorgeous!<em>" Ray exclaimed as they headed off down the drive. The snow was beginning to fall thick and fast now, the snow returning almost as fast as the windscreen wipers pushed it away.

"She's sixteen, Ray, over ten years younger than you." Alex answered quickly, closing her eyes,

"You two, shut up, before I tie one of you to the roof!" Gene yelled over the two officers,

"What, but I didn't do anything!" both Alex and Ray replied in unison,

"Well don't!"

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><p>"Guv, there's about a foot of snow, we're not going to get back down to London tonight." Alex said,<p>

"Well what else do you propose we do?"

"Find a hotel?"

"Bolly, has it escaped your noticed that we are in the middle of nowhere, and therefore there _are_ no hotels?"

"Well, we _walk_ and we find one!"

"Walk? The next village is bloody miles off! And more to the point, I 'ate walking!"

There was the sound of horses' hooves behind them, and a carriage pulled by two horses stopped beside the Quattro.

"I thought you'd be stuck by now," Chloe smirked from the seat at the front of the carriage, "Look, there's a barn down there, leave the car there and stay at the farmhouse."

"Leave the Quattro in a _barn?_" Gene asked incredulously,

"It's perfectly safe, it's got locks."

"Fine then. But if it gets stolen..."

"Just put it in the barn and stop moaning," Chloe threw a set of keys through the window of the car at Gene,"I'll drive you back to the farmhouse in the carriage, d'you lot want to get in?"

Ray and Chris leapt inside the carriage, while Shaz trudged round to look at the horses pulling it.

"The pure black one's Raven, the one with the blaze is Essence," Chloe smiled from the seat, "They're friendly, you can stroke them."

Shaz cautiously reached out a hand to each horse and stroked them, smiling to herself as she did.

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><p>"Well <em>I'm<em> not pushing it, I'm wearing stillettos!"

"Well you should 'ave worn something sensible, if you 'ave anything, which I highly doubt."

Alex folded her arms in a way which reminded Gene of a stroppy toddler, "I'll open the barn up if you push the car in." She reasoned,

Gene paused for a moment to consider, then nodded, "Fine."

They both got out of the car, Alex heading towards the empty barn and Gene to the reverse of the car.

"It's unlocked!" Alex called,

Gene began to push the Quattro inside the barn, and Alex couldn't help but admire his strength as he did so.

_Shut up, Alex, this is Gene Hunt for God's sake. _She thought,

"Right then Bolly Knickers, lock the barn up and let's get back to the road - your carraige awaits. Well, if Ray 'asn't scared the 'orses off, that is."

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><p>Alex screeched as her shoes slipped on an icy patch of the drive leading back to the road. She flew backwards, landing flat on her back.<p>

"Come on yer dozy mare," Gene offered her his hand and she gladly took it, standing up cautiously, "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She muttered in reply,

"Come 'ere, don't want you to brake yer neck." Gene picked her up surprisingly gently, as he had done the first day they had met, and carried her back to the carraige.

"Sorry, Chloe, she fell over on 'er stilts an' nearly broke 'er neck."

Chloe laughed, "Don't worry, get in the carraige and we'll get back to the farm."

Alex climbed into the carraige, followed by Gene, and sat down, watching the snow falling out the window,

"Spending the night on a farm with a gorgeous bird," Ray thought out loud, "_Someone_ up there must like me."

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><p><strong>Please review, there's more chapters to come! (:<strong>


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